Halloween Science!

So it’s Halloween again. The veil is thin, the moon is fat, and the kids are out there dressed like goblins, ghosts, and one kid who looked like a rabbit. I lit a candle, cracked open a root beer (I’m sober now, man), and decided to investigate the science behind this spooky jamboree. What I found will chill your bones, or at least mildly tickle your tibia.

Brain Science: Fear Is a Trip, Man

You ever walk into a haunted house and feel your heart do the cha-cha? That’s your amygdala, baby. It’s the almond-shaped groove in your brain that says, “Yo, something’s wrong.” It’s like your brain’s bouncer, and on Halloween, it’s working overtime.

Fear releases adrenaline, dopamine, and a little bit of “whoa.” That’s why people pay good money to be chased by a guy with a fake chainsaw. It’s like skydiving, but with more fog machines and fewer parachutes.

Sweet Science: Candy: The Legal Drug of Childhood

Sugar is wild. You eat a Snickers and suddenly you’re doing laps around the living room like a caffeinated squirrel. That’s glucose, man. It’s like rocket fuel for your cells. But then comes the crash. You go from “Wheee!” to “Why am I horizontal?”

Chocolate’s got theobromine, which sounds like a Greek philosopher but is actually a stimulant. It makes you feel good, unless you’re a dog. Dogs can’t handle it. Don’t give your dog a Kit Kat. That’s science.

Spiders: Eight-Legged Freakouts

Spiders are nature’s way of saying, “Surprise!” We’re scared of them because our ancestors were scared of them. Evolution said, “Hey, maybe don’t cuddle the venomous thing,” and we listened.

Also, clowns. I don’t trust clowns. They smile too much. That’s not science, that’s just Bob.

The Moon Is Watching You

Full moon? People get weird. Hospital visits go up. Sleep goes down. Werewolves go… somewhere. I don’t know. I asked a guy in a wolf costume and he just barked at me.

The word “lunatic” comes from “luna,” which is Latin for “moon.” Coincidence? Probably not. The moon’s got pull, man. It moves oceans. It moves minds. It moves me to write poetry like:

“Silver orb in the sky so high,
Why do you make my neighbour cry?”

Costumes and the Psychology of Pretending You’re Not You

When you dress like Dracula, you feel powerful. When you dress like a hot dog, you feel… processed. That’s called “enclothed cognition.” It means your clothes mess with your brain. I once wore a lab coat for a week and started explaining quantum physics to my toaster.

Halloween lets you be someone else. Or something else. Or just a guy in a bathrobe who says he’s “a tired wizard.”

Conclusion: Science Is the Real Treat

So yeah, Halloween is spooky, sweet, and scientifically sensational. It’s a night where fear is fun, sugar is king, and the moon is your weird uncle watching from above.

Stay safe out there. Don’t eat glow sticks. And remember: the real monster is unchecked glucose levels.

Peace, pumpkins, and poorly written prose,
Bob Cheeseman

Halloween: A Night of Science, Screams, and Sugar (Man)

By Bob Cheeseman, US Science Correspondent (ex - hippy, beat poet, retired, then un-retired, then mildly confused)